Footprints in the sand; A coach’s story.

A coach was walking on a beach with God,

There was only one person walking,footprints

But there were two sets of footprints in the sand…

The coach was uneasy, almost disturbed, he wanted to talk something out with God.

“Can we talk?” he said.

“Of course”, said God, “What is concerning you, my faithful servant?”,

“My agent of change, my catalyst for people’s clarity, my very special representative on Earth?”

“I feel better already just hearing that.” Thought the coach, “But I’m going to talk this through anyhow.”

“You know the other day?” He started.

He stopped and pointed to a point in the sand where one of the two sets of footprints had disappeared.

The one set walked alone for a few steps and then was joined again after.

“What happened there?? He demanded.

“I started feeling my fears, I started feeling really alone… I did what I could and went down to the pub for a few beers, ended up having a few cigarettes…you know, to make myself feel better.”

“You know what?” he said to God.

“It didn’t even make me feel better…and then all these guys who’ve hear about the things you have done though me, start hanging around, like I’m some sort of freak magician that they are going to hassle to find out how I do my tricks…”

“I had to get out.”

“So I walked home.”

The coach pointed to the one set of footprints:

“Why did you leave me?  Why did you make me walk alone?” He cried out to the sand, the wind and the surf.

“They are not your footprints, they are mine.  I was carrying you.” God said gently.

“You are a human and a Being.”

“Your human wants simple things: security, safety, some love and a bit of fun.”

“Your Being is the one who is making the footprints in the sand, not your human.”

“You see, your human doesn’t experience this as a beach,

Your human experiences your life as being full of uncertainty, pain and suffering.

You drag him into places that challenge him enormously.”

“Instead of a beach, his reality is that he is walking on nothing…and the path magically appears under his feet – he doesn’t understand this and he gets very scared when he stops trusting it.

He has a family to take care of and every day is a fight for him, tooth and nail.”

“Somehow you have to learn to take care of him.” Said God.

“Somehow, you need to do your work, be amazing, keep your head in the right place,

…and your human in one piece.”

“You know, you sometimes burn your candle with a blowtorch, both ends at once.

You are the only one who can take care of your human, I know you have a lot on,

but you are the only one who can do this.”

The coach stood looking at the long line of footprints in the sand.starry view

“It’s amazing to think I’m operating on another completely different level at the same time.” he said thoughtfully.

“You are operating on millions of different levels at the same time.  You have no idea how magnificent you are.” said God.

“Okay,” said the coach, not wanting to go further down that train of thought, enough’s enough! “Lets move forward.”

…and they did.

Black Milk’s James Illis inspires the Bejeebers out of me!

It’s all about…

Creating something that resonates with you …and the market

..and interacting with the market, listening, asking for their thoughts,

..even asking them for their help.

Clarity leads  you to your power

James kept moving forward and discovered his purpose on the way.

Getting clear on your purpose puts you in the long tail game.

Link that with an interactive and very, very cool social media engine….and you have some sort of dragon!

When Change walks in the door…

Jon Bruce told me today about three levels of relating that humans engage in.

  1. “Polite Interaction”  This is where you are engaging in a series of predictable and safe statements, usually on the same level of “How are you?  Fine thank you, how are you?”  There’s a low level of risk, both parties know what’s going to happen and the interaction is totally predictable.
  2. “Informational Interaction”, where information gets exchanged such as: “Can you tell me how to get to there?   Why yes, first you  do this, then you do that and after that you will find yourself there.”  Once again, it’s safe and predictable, you either know the information, or you don’t.  This level of interaction requires very little engagement with the individual.”
  3. “Authentic Interaction” which requires a thing we call “Connection” which requires taking a journey to the risky area of personal disclosure and intimacy. This happens at times like when we notice something about the person we are talking with and acknowledge them for it.  We can then ask them a question about why they do that and what does it feel like to do that.  We start to be “Personal” with them. The level of Authentic Interaction is riskier and more liable to lead you to “Connection” and “Intimacy”, two areas that are less predictable than polite interaction or informational interaction.When Change walks in the door

Well this is what happens when change walks in your door.   If you make some change, the people around you will react.

Change forces us to the risky and unpredictable uncharted waters of connection, intimacy and God forbid: Authenticity!

This is why when change walks in the door, we dive our heads in the sand, we get angry at the messenger and storm out the other door.

Fear not.  It’s a natural reaction to your changes.

You do it, your friends and family will do it – its just another reaction.

Your altern

All you need to do is take the high path of remaining authentic to who you really are.

Sounds simple eh?

I forgive myself for all the times I made big changes and just let go of the people around me who didn’t like it.

That I would admit…is the low road!

James Lillis of Black Milk on the upside of Failure

“I know a lot of people say follow your dreams and do what you love, but it’s not always that simple,” he says. “I followed what I loved for a long time and started businesses and then went broke.

It might be a horrible truth, but you almost need that.

Failures discipline you and they teach you the value of money and that it’s not a game.

If you’re going to do it, you have to do it seriously.

Nothing comes easily.”

James Lillis Black Milk

I like this guy and what he thinks and does.  Check him out at www.blackmilk.com

The Story of Icarus and How if You Don’t Take Care of Yourself, No-one Else Can.

Icarus made himself a pair of wings,Icarus 2

Made out of, funnily enough,

Wax, sticks and feathers.

He went to the highest mountain and leapt out from the edge

He flew!

He swooped, he soared, he was right up there with the eagles.icarus1

His father had warned him not to fly too close to the sun,

“The wax will melt and you will fall to your death” he warned.

But Icarus was so elated and euphoric, drunk with flight,  Icarus5 he forgot his father’s words.

If you don’t take care of yourself, no-one else can.

He soared higher and higher, got too close to the sun, the wax started to melt…the_fall_of_icarus_by_MitchelIsEuphoric

And you know what happens next.

But this is what our responsibly is when we use our wings to fly.

We have to pace ourselves, we have to moderate, we have to consolidate.

People with “Bi-polar” love the heights they can soar to..and no wonder,

Not everyone has wings to fly with.

But they exhaust themselves, they burn out, their wax melts,

Just like Icarus, they take the fall.

Using your wings, comes with great responsibility.

Moderation in everything – even flying needs to be your motto.

If you don’t take care of yourself – no-one else can.

The highs are always seductive – “just a little bit more” you say to yourself.

Burn out is never worth it – ultimately, you are spending your life force,

Every time your wax melts, your wings falling apart around you.

Your creative force, needs you to nurture and moderate yourself.

If you don’t take care of yourself – no-one else can.

Another person takes their life…part two.

Yesterday I wrote a post about a man who’d committed suicide recently.

I was talking to one of my colleagues today as he was sharing with me some of his groundbreaking work with suicidal people.

I told him about my post and he asked me: “Did you let yourself get vulnerable?”

…my answer is no.  I got upset when I was writing this post.  I didn’t want to share my upset with you about this.

I got to the point where I started to feel my despair and hopelessness….I thought; “how is this going to contribute to anyone?”…and straightaway I opted for the safety of aphorism and an inserted quote.  (Playing safe never makes a difference – I know that!)

– Ouch!

That’s why I’m writing to you.

You see, I have lost two close mates to suicide – now that’s a different rollercoaster of grief! 

My first reaction at the time was immediate anger – rage almost – and then despair, disbelief…and then after a while, surprisingly...understanding – I got to the point where I could say – “I can understand why they did this – I understand their logic.”  

– Now that was an uncomfortable thought.

It’s very uncomfortable to be around a suicide.

So, I’ll be straight with you –  I don’t have any answers around stopping anyone committing suicide.  I mean by that: stopping them from ever considering it again.  I’ve had some experience and success in helping people make a more resourceful decision...at the time…but not in stopping them ever considering that option ever again.

You know, I’ve never admitted this before...not even to myself.  I’m really upset about this.  Every time I ever think about it.  I don’t know what to do about it.

I’m really good at helping people find their clarity…in the moment and holding them accountable to act on that clarity…but I’m lousy at stopping someone from killing themselves.

However, you may be interested to know that my challenging colleague, who has a background of dealing with this, has developed a new tool, that he has been testing over the last few months that addresses this condition, this decision at the root cause:

Our thinking.

He has challenged me to be vulnerable with you today and has promised me to write a post that I will publish as soon as I get it.

Now that I’ve shared with you that this really isn’t my area of expertise, I’m willing to engage in this conversation with someone who has some smarts and experience with this.  I trust that you will find this useful and informative.  

I personally am looking forward to discovering a strategy that will help people move forward with this issue.  The costs are too high to not have some sort of strategy.

That poor guy who killed himself recently, did so on his own, he made his choice and he acted upon it.  I was told me he was a nice guy, always pleasant and went out of his way to sort things for people.  This was a mask of some sort, covering some sort of inner turmoil, that he kept secret from everyone.

Is the reason we have such a high suicide rate in our Western countries because we encourage people to be inauthentic and powerless in our lives – to be “Nice” people instead of who we really are?  Is this the cost of such a pretense, to end our lives by our own hand?

Ah me – I’m vulnerable, upset, angry and I have no answers!  Not only that, I’m chronicling this in print…on this blog too!

Vulnerable.

Tell me, by the way, what is your experience of this?  What are your thoughts about this?

Let me know.

How much are you going to value Happiness in your life this year?

So many people put a low value on their Happiness.

“Happiness is over-rated”  Some say.Marcus Aurelius

I know I’ve put my success, my relationships and my finances ahead of my personal happiness…for many years.

I’ve paid the price.

Which means that, yes, in 2015, I am going to nurture happiness in my life.

  • I’m going to do things I love to do more often.
  • I”m going to smile more.
  • I’m going to spend more time with people who make me happy.
  • ..and yes, I’m going to think more happy thoughts! (thank you Marcus!)

I’m going to build my happiness this year.

What about you?

Another person takes their life…

I heard of yet another person who has chosen, to end their life.Mother Theresa

41, a happy guy who made sure other people’s lives were better from being around him.

I’m short on details, but the end result is the same old story…

I just wonder if these people have the resources of people like Mother Theresa,

To keep them positive and expectant about each moment of their lives.

If they didn’t, then I’m sure each of us who are busy creating lives of value and contribution, really need it.

Because the higher the mountains you climb, the deeper the valleys  seem.

A short note about your goals…

You know, there are some goals you have put in the “too hard” basket,Too hard basket

They mean a lot for you, you have cried tears and berated yourself about giving up on them,

Maybe you have even come to terms with them and have accepted gracefully and fully with them.

But wait:

Your goals don’t have an expiry date on them.Your dream doesn't have an expiry date

You can breathe new life into them in 2015.

You can resurrect and revitalize them, innovate and re-energise them.

It’s really up to you.

What do you choose?

Let me know at themotivationclinic@gmail.com

How to Be in order to Achieve What You Really, Really Want.

It’s the New Year of 2015.

You’ve reviewed what you have and haven’t achieved in 2014.

Resolutions have been made, goals have been formed.

You are ready to create your best 2015 you can imagine…The Best You you can imagine!

Interestingly enough, you have to reach out past your comfort zone,

in order to cross the gap between your imagined and strongly desired 2015.Your comfort zone

In fact, your goals for 2015 rely completely upon the quality of who you arein action.

By definition, that means acting outside of your comfort zone.

And your comfort zone, is not only what you feel comfortable living within,

But it’s also where all your old habits live,

Where all your old memories lie,

And where all that you have experienced in your life, replays itself,

Over and over again in your life.

If you don’t want your 2015 to be just another re-run of your old life,

You’ll need to start it, at least on the edge of your comfort zone,

Looking forward, stretching toward…

Strongly desiring and vividly imagining, the positive outcomes of your goals.

Your goals require this at this time, in order for them to be fulfilled.

Remember, where the magic happens;

Everything worthwhile, everything meaningful and fulfilling to you lives there.

If you simply stay in your comfort zone, you’ll never taste the rewards of what you really want.

This is what a coach helps you do.  Live and act on the edge of your comfort zone, day in and day out.  If you are ready, contact me.