How you become real.

This is a story that a grandfather tells his grandaughter who has been very, very brave and who is finding her way to her real.

You’ll find the full transcript here.

HERE was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white, he had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen. On Christmas morning, when he sat wedged in the top of the Boy’s stocking, with a sprig of holly between his paws, the effect was charming.

There were other things in the stocking, nuts and oranges and a toy engine, and chocolate almonds and a clockwork mouse, but the Rabbit was quite the best of all. For at least two hours the Boy loved him, and then Aunts and Uncles came to dinner, and there was a great rustling of tissue paper and unwrapping of parcels, and in the excitement of looking at all the new presents the Velveteen Rabbit was forgotten.

Christmas Morning

For a long time he lived in the toy cupboard or on the nursery floor, and no one thought very much about him. He was naturally shy, and being only made of velveteen, some of the more expensive toys quite snubbed him. The mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon every one else; they were full of modern ideas, and pretended they were real. The model boat, who had lived through two seasons and lost most of his paint, caught the tone from them and never missed an opportunity of referring to his rigging in technical terms. The Rabbit could not claim to be a model of anything, for he didn’t know that real rabbits existed; he thought they were all stuffed with sawdust like himself, and he understood that sawdust was quite out-of-date and should never be mentioned in modern circles. Even Timothy, the jointed wooden lion, who was made by the disabled soldiers, and should have had broader views, put on airs and pretended he was connected with Government. Between them all the poor little Rabbit was made to feel himself very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him at all was the Skin Horse.

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

“I suppose you are real?” said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

The Skin Horse Tells His Story

“The Boy’s Uncle made me Real,” he said. “That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him.

There was a person called Nana who ruled the nursery. Sometimes she took no notice of the playthings lying about, and sometimes, for no reason whatever, she went swooping about like a great wind and hustled them away in cupboards. She called this “tidying up,” and the playthings all hated it, especially the tin ones. The Rabbit didn’t mind it so much, for wherever he was thrown he came down soft.

One evening, when the Boy was going to bed, he couldn’t find the china dog that always slept with him. Nana was in a hurry, and it was too much trouble to hunt for china dogs at bedtime, so she simply looked about her, and seeing that the toy cupboard door stood open, she made a swoop.

“Here,” she said, “take your old Bunny! He’ll do to sleep with you!” And she dragged the Rabbit out by one ear, and put him into the Boy’s arms.

That night, and for many nights after, the Velveteen Rabbit slept in the Boy’s bed. At first he found it rather uncomfortable, for the Boy hugged him very tight, and sometimes he rolled over on him, and sometimes he pushed him so far under the pillow that the Rabbit could scarcely breathe. And he missed, too, those long moonlight hours in the nursery, when all the house was silent, and his talks with the Skin Horse. But very soon he grew to like it, for the Boy used to talk to him, and made nice tunnels for him under the bedclothes that he said were like the burrows the real rabbits lived in. And they had splendid games together, in whispers, when Nana had gone away to her supper and left the night-light burning on the mantelpiece. And when the Boy dropped off to sleep, the Rabbit would snuggle down close under his little warm chin and dream, with the Boy’s hands clasped close round him all night long.

And so time went on, and the little Rabbit was very happy–so happy that he never noticed how his beautiful velveteen fur was getting shabbier and shabbier, and his tail becoming unsewn, and all the pink rubbed off his nose where the Boy had kissed him.

Spring came, and they had long days in the garden, for wherever the Boy went the Rabbit went too. He had rides in the wheelbarrow, and picnics on the grass, and lovely fairy huts built for him under the raspberry canes behind the flower border. And once, when the Boy was called away suddenly to go out to tea, the Rabbit was left out on the lawn until long after dusk, and Nana had to come and look for him with the candle because the Boy couldn’t go to sleep unless he was there. He was wet through with the dew and quite earthy from diving into the burrows the Boy had made for him in the flower bed, and Nana grumbled as she rubbed him off with a corner of her apron.

Spring Time

“You must have your old Bunny!” she said. “Fancy all that fuss for a toy!”

The Boy sat up in bed and stretched out his hands.

“Give me my Bunny!” he said. “You mustn’t say that. He isn’t a toy. He’s REAL!”

When the little Rabbit heard that he was happy, for he knew that what the Skin Horse had said was true at last. The nursery magic had happened to him, and he was a toy no longer. He was Real. The Boy himself had said it.

That night he was almost too happy to sleep, and so much love stirred in his little sawdust heart that it almost burst. And into his boot-button eyes, that had long ago lost their polish, there came a look of wisdom and beauty, so that even Nana noticed it next morning when she picked him up, and said, “I declare if that old Bunny hasn’t got quite a knowing expression!”

Let us know what this means for you.


We are all Escapists

Escaping from our precious personal life reality has so many vehicles these days;Image

You can escape on your phone, and that’s everywhere you go,

You can escape into movie land, there’s whole universes to explore in there,

Fashion and retail therapy are another escape portal,

…as is food, sex, alcohol, drugs, religion, sport, fitness, health, gambling, collecting, obsessing over a special interest group…anything that takes your mind off what you have come here for.  And that can be practically anything – the true escapist will use anything to escape – the ends justifies the means!

The price of all of this escaping is a tough one to pay.

The price of your short term entry to comfortably numb, is your precious time.

The price of staying in escapist activities Imagelong term, is your motivation to do what you have come here to do.

There comes a time when you no longer want to escape, when you want to engage with and direct your life and your responsibilities.

If that’s where you are at, then there’s some good news – you’ll find an ebook workbook here on how to create your motivational road map.  It’s free – all you need to do is put in the sweat equity and Kapow!  there’s your motivational road map and your escape from your comfortably numb prison.


Acknowledge completely where you are at and watch yourself move on!

I have observed a principle in action from observing my clients and myself.
When you write or verbalise your Baseline (a rigorously accurate description of your present circumstances in whatever situation you want to make a change happen in), you intiate the process of change.
Someone once said (I paraphrase what I remember here, but if you know who said it and what it was they said, could you let me know?) “If you can accurately and thoroughly describe a problem, you are 60% of the way to the solution!”
This makes sense to me from my observations of the principle in action.
And I also believe from my own experience, that this is a duplicatable tool everyone can use to intiate change in their current situation. Just describe it thoroughly and you will notice a shift or a change in your perception of the situation and oftentimes, even in the situation itself.
Years ago, Robert Fritz described another aspect of this principle in his ground breaking book: “The Power of Least Resistance” My paraphrasing of this is: “If you can hold a complete and clear picture of your current circumstances and at the same time have a clear and complete picture of your desired circumstances, then your mind will conspire to move you towards achieving your desired circumstances.”
Tony Robbins and an army of NLP practitioners expound this dynamic tension as being between the “Current State” and “Desired State”.
I believe its important to write your baseline and your vision side by side and if possible at the same time. Oftentimes, by writing your baseline, you will discover more detail about what you really, really want or need and you can bank that directly in your vision.
So writing your baseline is fertile ground for your transformation. Describing your current situation has the power to create options and movement in your current situation, that were previously impossible to imagine. Not only that, the seed of your vision and your solutions exist in your baseline, waiting for you to crack the surface by your vivid description.
Let me know what you think about this and what your experience has been.
Want to discover your motivation – email us

Your Baseline is a motivation engine!

Most of us have a motivator of choice.Image

It’s either the Stick or the Carrot……….The Consequence or the Reward.

Anthony Robbins likes to use them both.

“Why settle for front wheel drive, when you can have four wheel drive?!”

You write a really uncomfortable, disappointing and depressing baseline – it really motivates you!

….and, if you write your baseline before you write your vision – you get very clear, very quickly about what it is that you really want in your desired future!

It motivates you because for a start, the act of writing it as uncomfortable, disappointing and depressing – is an act of admitting to yourself how bad you feel about it. No more Rose Coloured glasses, chocolate coated Kaka or being possum frozen in the headlights!

The good (and bad) news about this is, that after admitting that, you start to see every day how crummy your present situation is – especially when you read your vision every day!

You start to have emotions about this – emotions like irritation, frustration, annoyance and restlessness.

Most people will notice themselves feeling like this and will think that something is wrong …and try to fix up their feelings.

Not you, however – because you know that these feelings are motivation engines – they will help you go into action – passionate, purposeful action.

These feelings, just like the stick, will motivate you to change things….for the better.

These feelings remind you that there’s no turning back – forward is the only way to go!

Successful achievers know that comfort steals from you!

Want to discover your motivation?  Email us.

Better out than in

It’s one of the best sayings the Kiwi’s taught me,Image
One that takes from within, whatever there is..
…and brings it into the light so you can see
…and in seeing it, you transform not only it…
But who you are and who you are able to become.
Our nature is change – we are constantly changing all the time.
If you hold, what’s going on inside within,
You are holding back your natural change.
You are fine just the way you are…everything you need is within,
All you need is to get it out here, so you can see it,
And in seeing it, it disappears.
If you call whatever is troubling you inside “what’s so”,
It magically turns into:
“So what?”
– Better out than in Bro!

Are you short, sharp suffering or are you l-o-n-g suffering?

Sometimes when something tough happens,Image
You can get interrupted in processing it through,

You make a decision to postpone the short sharp suffering that will pull you through within the short term,

…and you move into the long suffering mode, which can take years and steal much of your ability to be present in the moment during that time.

Short sharp suffering hurts, it’s intense, it brings you to your knees,

But when it’s fully experienced, your time with what’s caused your pain is over.

Long suffering is a bearable manageable kind of pain, a kind of comfortable state of trauma,that you know you can survive through, that numbs down your passion, your creativity, and your ability to dance in the moment…that’s the price you pay for this strategy.

The other price you pay is that you carry that original incident, that cause of your pain…

…you live every day and every hour and every minute present to that part of your past,

Stuck, until you make the call, to stand and face your pain.

Are you long suffering your way through something now?

What do you need to face? What’s the price you have to pay to short suffer your way back to freedom?

Let me know.

We choose long suffering when our short suffering process is interrupted – perhaps by another stressful event that happened at the same time…and we decide that long suffering is the only way we’ll get through it.

What amazing future are you going to invent?

“I deal with my problems, but I’m building my dream” Image
You got your day job, that helps you make ends meet,
You grit your teeth, you do the soft shoe, you pull the rabbit out of the hat, you do what it takes…
But it’s building your dream that lights you up.
That’s where the magic happens…and it seeps through your whole life,
So what’s the most incredible and inspiring future you can dream up for yourself?
What’s going to make your whole life glow with a new meaning?
That’s going to turn the mundane into profound?
What’s your inspiring dream that you can turn into a goal?
That’s going to bring back the song in your heart?

Deal with your problems, but Focus on Building your Dreams.

We are all in a state of becoming…Image

We don’t have to beat ourselves up because we’re not there yet.

Failure is just another way of saying;

“You’ve learnt how not to do what you are trying to achieve.”

Cowards need assurance and security, just to get out of bed, they hiss and spit at risk takers, but dream builders stay up late and get up early, driven and sustained only by their dream,

In a recent interview with Joanna Lumley, Will i am, (an amazing dream builder) said:

“I’m ignoring my problems and building my dreams”

Perhaps the only reason you are not up and out building your dream,

Is that your focus in on your day to day problems,

…you don’t have a compelling, driving and inspiring vision screening in your head…

Is that true for you?

If you want some help creating that vision, email me at

Discover your motivation.


“When you are stuck…” technique number #one:


Simply start a list of twenty items of the negative consequences of you creating the positive outcome you are endeavoring to achieve.

Force yourself to think about your negative self limiting attitudes and bring them out from your darkness into your light.

You may surprise yourself.

When you have completed your list, read each item and say: “Well that’s not true – what a heap of crock!”  and let your mind do the rest.

Revealing your self limiting thoughts is always a good thing to do when you find yourself stuck.

Want to find what motivates you?  Let me know at